Depression
by Lady Merlin
Summary: i don't know why i wrote this, totally different from others, rated for depression and suicide none commited
1. Chapter 1

I know it's not generally a good idea to use a whole chapter as an AN, but I think it's a good idea to warn you all about my story. I just had a huge fight with my parents last night, which isn't really a big thing, for a teen, I mean, but this was huge. I mean huuuuuuge. And, well, I've decided that if they can't even listen to me complaining about one tiny thing without thinking I'm ungrateful, I should have nothing to do with them. And then, I realised, that I want to be alone, I want people to leave me alone, relationships aren't worth it. So that's that. I'm not gonna really talk to my parents about my life and feelings anymore, not that I did much anyway and I'm determined to stop failing. That's IT! I'm done with socializing. If my parents want a perfect child, that's what they'll get. A lot of the stuff I write from now on will be extremely emotional, cuz it's the only place I can be emotional. So if you can't really care, I don't need to know. And if you feel pity, thanks, I used to too, but not anymore. Thanks. I just needed to talk.


	2. Chapter 2

Artemis was walking down the hallway, silent as usual. Whispers surrounded him. Silence. He heard his name. He ignored it. He was a hot topic of gossip there. It didn't help him to get involved. "Yeah that's him." Came a whisper, a decibel above the rest

"The vampire?"

"the arrogant snobbish bastard." That hit a nerve.

He walked up to the boy. Everyone was silent. "Ron, Ronald Jonson, am I right?"

He just nodded mutely. "I suggest, that if you value your tongue so much, you keep it safe inside your mouth, because I assure you, if you say one more word, you won't find it tomorrow…" he gave a vampirish smile and walked away. And Ronald was silent. He, and everybody else knew that Artemis Fowl did not have a funny bone. He did not joke or smile or laugh. He COULDN'T joke or smile or laugh. It was like, it had disintegrated or something.

He sat down in his car and butler drove off, humming something. Slowly falling asleep, his mind flashed back to the day he first gave life up, when he was 5.

He had just had a fight with his parents, a major fight. They weren't talking to him, he wasn't talking to them. Sitting down in his room, he thought, I may be a genius, but no body appreciates it. Maybe it's because I act too normal. It's sad really. And then it struck him. His parents wanted a perfect boy, that's what he'd give them. He'd charm all their friends and do everything they wanted him to. He's achieve top marks, not that he didn't already. He'd make them proud, but he wouldn't be human anymore. He would never show his emotions, never. That's it, he thought. That's the end.

Sliding open his drawer, he took out a silver blade. And smiled. It was reflected on the shiny surface of the blade. Testing it on a hair, he was satisfied. It was sharp. Gently lowering it down to the back of his wrist, he slit, and saw a thin trickle of blood flow down his hand. He clenched it. That, was when Artemis, the laughing happy child prodigy, became a hard, cold cruel criminal genius. And the cutting continued. He cut himself once a week, every Friday. His parents were surprised at his good behaviour, but it took them a while to figure out that it was forced.

Meanwhile, his genius was growing, day by day, and then he discovered fairies. And kidnapped one. And after everything that had ever happened to him, at the age of 15 or 16, he was wiped. And soon, in a geography lesson about the artic, he had a relapse.

He sighed and opened his eyes. His life was not fun. Not at all. Reaching home, he wished his mother a Merry Christmas with a fake smile and walked into his room. It was Friday night. Taking out the blade, he sliced his wrist, as he had, every week, for the past 13 years. The blade had long lost its shine, rim caked with some unknown substance. Unknown to him, one of Foaly's camera's was recording this, and was about to be rediscovered by Holly…


	3. Chapter 3

"WHAT?" Screamed Holly as she watched the video. "NO!" and instantly, without even asking permission went up to the surface, to the Fowl manor, straight in through Artemis' window.


	4. Chapter 4

She flew straight into the bathroom, to find Artemis toweling is hair dry. She glared at him, "put on your clothes." She snapped. He smirked.

"to what do I owe this honor?" he asked, still grinning.

"stop being smart."

"I can't."

She just glared and went out of the bathroom.

Soon after, he walked out, dressed I his customary suit and tie.

"Artemis." She hissed. "what the hell are you doing?"

"nothing, as a matter of fact." He said, looking genuinely confused.

She grabbed his wrist. He winced and pulled away. "that's what I mean."

She took his hand, this time more gently and pushed up the sleeve. She saw the pale white skin with read scars across it. "how long have you been doing this?"

"5." He said.

"5 times?" she asked, tears coming to her eyes.

He shook his head.

"then?"

"since I was 5."

"What?" she asked, in a whisper-yell, about to cry.

"yeah." He turned away, as if ashamed. "it's like I'm addicted to it."

"why?"

"why?" he asked. "why? It's because no body loves me, no body. No body cares. I haven't showed my true emotions for a long time Holly, I'm scared, I'm terrified. I don't know what people will do, I don't. That's the only thing I can't control, so I've locked them away. Emotions hurt, I don't want to hurt."

"but I care, and so do your parents."

"no, they don't. They've never paid attention to me in my life."

"but I do care. I care more than anything."

"I did love somebody you know. I still do" he said as if he hadn't heard. "but we can never be together, and she's the only person who brought out any emotion in me."

"Juliet?"

"no, god no."

"then who?"

"you." He whispered. "I love you. And we can never be, because you don't love me." Her eyes softened. Then tears began to leak out of her eyes.

"why are you crying?" he asked in pain.

"I'm crying for you."

"there's no need to do that."

"I'm crying because you can't cry. I'm crying because you couldn't see that I do love you." And with that she kissed his cheek. "Please don't hurt yourself, please don't. You're cutting me."

"I'll never cut you, never." And he hugged her tight. And for once, Artemis was at peace, with himself, loved.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I HATE THIS STORY. IT SUCKS. I DON'T KNOW WHY I FLIPPIN WROTE IT. ITS SO DISJOINTED. AGH. Nevermind. Do review.


End file.
